I will become...
I shared a video in a post a few weeks ago, but I'm not sure it pulled up in people's e-mails. If you haven't watched God's Heart for the Foreigner, please take some time to watch it. Here's the link to it on youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sd4IEuPvQw8
Everybody always says it would be nice for babies to come with instruction books and it’s true, but it’s even more exciting parenting a newborn in Clarkston. When M was born many of my parenting decisions and styles were much like those of my friends. Sure there were some differences, but common threads throughout. It’s easy to forget how many things are influenced by culture. Now I’m getting glimpses of how different people parent across the globe.
Take something as simple as nursing. I’ve always been told that brand new babies need to eat every couple of hours and as they get bigger and older you can extend the time between meals further. It makes sense to me. If they fuss between those times I assume there’s another reason… boredom, fatigue, poopy diaper, etc. Not so in my friend’s home country. If they cry, they’re hungry. It doesn’t matter if they just nursed 1 minute ago or 5 minutes ago. You nurse them again. Then I met a woman from a different country who told me I need to stop nursing, so often because that’s why she’s spitting up so much. According to her I give her too much milk.
Feeding in general is different. My friend asks why I don’t give her tastes of things. I’ve stuck to straight milk for the first six months with the other two and planned to do the same with V. We have to let their digestive tracts mature right? We wouldn’t want them to develop allergens… and yet there is research coming out now that perhaps early introductions of foods reduce the chance they’ll develop an allergy to a food. My head spins sometimes because each is in direct contrast to the other.
I caused quite the stir taking V out of the house in nothing but a diaper and wrapped in a blanket (she had been sleeping when we left and needed to walk a friend home before it started raining). I know that it’s improper for women to show bare arms and legs, but thought the rules for babies was different. I thought wrong. My friend informed me that some Arab people will dress their babies in three layers. While H gets creative with the layering of her clothes (she almost always wears a skirt under her dresses- she likes how it makes the dresses poofier), I myself have donned three layers on my girls only in the dead of winter. After being corrected by some I apologized to another neighbor for the appearance of my baby when I stepped outside briefly to check something. She appeared confused by my apology (she isn’t Arab) and told me it was ok- it’s hot outside.
I’m amused by some of the differences I’ve seen, but ultimately these differences in parenting really don’t matter. If it makes someone feel more comfortable that I have clothes on my baby, I’ll dress her. I’ll dress myself to make people more comfortable too. All my sleeveless shirts and shorts are packed away and only get worn when I’m away from Clarkston so as not to offend anyone. Do I personally feel convicted wearing sleeveless shirts? No. They’re modest and as far as I know I don’t think my shoulders have ever caused any men to fall into temptation, but if having bare shoulders causes a cultural barrier so that they focus on my outward appearance rather than the gospel, then sleeves will be worn at all times.
I can adapt depending on the cultural norm of the people with whom I live. I’m not concerned with outer temporary things, it’s the heart of people that matter. If it makes people feel more comfortable for T to leave so that women and men are separate, he finds someplace else to go. If I need to remove my shoes at the door, I will gladly do so. I think some of our American friends seem surprised that I’m ok wearing jeans in the dead of summer and downplay my independent side, but at the heart of it, I know who I am. I know my value in T’s eyes but especially in God’s eyes. It’s more important to make myself less so they can hear of God’s great love.
Do we focus on becoming servants and who others need us to be… or are we focused only on our own interests in the temporary life we live?
Everybody always says it would be nice for babies to come with instruction books and it’s true, but it’s even more exciting parenting a newborn in Clarkston. When M was born many of my parenting decisions and styles were much like those of my friends. Sure there were some differences, but common threads throughout. It’s easy to forget how many things are influenced by culture. Now I’m getting glimpses of how different people parent across the globe.
Take something as simple as nursing. I’ve always been told that brand new babies need to eat every couple of hours and as they get bigger and older you can extend the time between meals further. It makes sense to me. If they fuss between those times I assume there’s another reason… boredom, fatigue, poopy diaper, etc. Not so in my friend’s home country. If they cry, they’re hungry. It doesn’t matter if they just nursed 1 minute ago or 5 minutes ago. You nurse them again. Then I met a woman from a different country who told me I need to stop nursing, so often because that’s why she’s spitting up so much. According to her I give her too much milk.
Feeding in general is different. My friend asks why I don’t give her tastes of things. I’ve stuck to straight milk for the first six months with the other two and planned to do the same with V. We have to let their digestive tracts mature right? We wouldn’t want them to develop allergens… and yet there is research coming out now that perhaps early introductions of foods reduce the chance they’ll develop an allergy to a food. My head spins sometimes because each is in direct contrast to the other.
I caused quite the stir taking V out of the house in nothing but a diaper and wrapped in a blanket (she had been sleeping when we left and needed to walk a friend home before it started raining). I know that it’s improper for women to show bare arms and legs, but thought the rules for babies was different. I thought wrong. My friend informed me that some Arab people will dress their babies in three layers. While H gets creative with the layering of her clothes (she almost always wears a skirt under her dresses- she likes how it makes the dresses poofier), I myself have donned three layers on my girls only in the dead of winter. After being corrected by some I apologized to another neighbor for the appearance of my baby when I stepped outside briefly to check something. She appeared confused by my apology (she isn’t Arab) and told me it was ok- it’s hot outside.
I’m amused by some of the differences I’ve seen, but ultimately these differences in parenting really don’t matter. If it makes someone feel more comfortable that I have clothes on my baby, I’ll dress her. I’ll dress myself to make people more comfortable too. All my sleeveless shirts and shorts are packed away and only get worn when I’m away from Clarkston so as not to offend anyone. Do I personally feel convicted wearing sleeveless shirts? No. They’re modest and as far as I know I don’t think my shoulders have ever caused any men to fall into temptation, but if having bare shoulders causes a cultural barrier so that they focus on my outward appearance rather than the gospel, then sleeves will be worn at all times.
19 For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them.
20 To the Jews I became as a Jew, in order to win Jews. To those under the law I became as one under the law (though not being myself under the law) that I might win those under the law.
21 To those outside the law I became as one outside the law (not being outside the law of God but under the law of Christ) that I might win those outside the law.
22 To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some.
23 I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings. (1Co 9:19-23 ESV)
I can adapt depending on the cultural norm of the people with whom I live. I’m not concerned with outer temporary things, it’s the heart of people that matter. If it makes people feel more comfortable for T to leave so that women and men are separate, he finds someplace else to go. If I need to remove my shoes at the door, I will gladly do so. I think some of our American friends seem surprised that I’m ok wearing jeans in the dead of summer and downplay my independent side, but at the heart of it, I know who I am. I know my value in T’s eyes but especially in God’s eyes. It’s more important to make myself less so they can hear of God’s great love.
Do we focus on becoming servants and who others need us to be… or are we focused only on our own interests in the temporary life we live?
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