My Hope

Training wheels Teaching M how to ride a bike didn’t go quite the way I envisioned.  I really thought I’d be running behind her holding onto her seat try after try and bandaging plenty of scraped hands and knees.  In reality, it was much easier than that.  We made an early attempt to remove the training wheels but she seemed frozen in fear.  She’d barely make one rotation of the pedals before hopping off declaring she was scared she was about to fall (even though I still had a tight grip of her seat).  She didn’t allow herself to get enough speed to really take off.  We were getting nowhere so we took the advice of seasoned grandparents and put the training wheels back on, but at a higher level.  We taught her to listen for the sound of the training wheels hitting the pavement and how to straighten the bike back up when that happened.  After a while riding this way, one of her wheels literally just fell off.  She didn’t even realize she was riding without it and stopped not because s...

It’s Ramadan, a time of fasting for Muslims everywhere. They are called to abstain from eating and drinking from sunrise to sunset for a month as one of the five pillars of Islam. My friend shared that she only fasts for part of it and talked about how hard it is to fast. My friend’s husband isn’t fasting and was told by other Muslims that if he didn’t fast, he wasn’t Muslim. As a Christian, I believe you can be a Christian without fasting. It is not the act of doing or not doing something that unites us to Christ. Rather it is our faith in him. She started asking questions about Christians and fasting. I found myself wondering how to answer her though. As Christians, it is not a requirement to fast but we are called to fast. Matthew 6:16-18 doesn’t say ‘if we fast’ but rather ‘when we fast’. It isn’t an ‘if/then’ statement. We often turn to Matthew 6 and examine the Lord’s prayer, but when we look at it as a whole and see the big picture, what amazing instruction Jesus gi...

Isaiah 50:4 The Sovereign Lord has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed. As a mother with an infant, everybody always asks about sleep. Generally speaking, V is pretty good about sleeping through the night (she usually wakes up once, eats and goes right back to sleep), though she doesn’t really have a great nap routine yet. I think it just comes with the territory of being the third. You just have to sleep when you can, wherever you can. Our trip back home left me feeling sleep deprived though. It started when she slept well in the car and decided to stay up the first night instead (I’m not complaining- I much prefer that to the wails that could have insued on the way down). Then there were a few nights I did it to myself because I wanted to visit people so I stayed up late and got up early (plus woke up for her in the middle of the night). By t...

It seems like at every turn lately, my plans have been backfiring. The doctor that I thought would be doing the surgery didn’t and the doctor who was my last choice ended up being the one to deliver V. We thought both grandmothers would be here the first week to ease the older girls into life with a newborn. The only glitch… both girls came down with stomach bugs and so the grandmas whisked them away to Florida so as not to infect the rest of us. M’s birthday just passed and I thought I may be able to pull off a celebration with just family and maybe a fun outing instead of a big party but as the day approached it quickly became clear that her heart was set on a celebration surrounded by friends. The list goes on with lots of unscheduled bumps and hiccups, but you get the picture. My concern about the doctor ended up being unfounded and the surgery went well. The girls ended up having a great time and don’t seem a bit fazed that they missed V’s first week of life (M d...

Salt A friend of mine made some unleavened bread for communion recently. The thing that stood out to me the most as I partook of the bread was it’s saltiness. I generally don’t think of bread as salty (except for garlic bread) and so I was surprised at the first taste. Normally during communion I try not to focus on the food itself, but rather the meaning behind it, but this time I felt like God was speaking to me through the flavor. Remember the salt. I just finished a great book by Bill Hybels, “Just Walk Across the Room” that I highly recommend. It gives a lot of great practical advice in seasoning our lives with salt. While I’ve always tried to do this, I often miss opportunities and either over or underseason my speech. Colossians 4:2-6 Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison— that I may...

Medical practice I knew I was choosing a teaching hospital. It was one of the reasons I considered it when choosing an OB after finding out we were pregnant. For the past five years I’ve shared our story with the medical students at FSU and have loved having the opportunity to hopefully impact them in their careers and thought this might afford me the same opportunity. I was surprised though at the limited number of times students, residents or fellows attended my appointments. This week I found out it’s because they’re all getting their time in on the maternity wing of the hospital rather than the doctor’s visits leading up the point of delivery. It gave new meaning to the term medical practice as I sat there getting my epidural. A team of people had come through pre-op introducing themselves and letting me know they would be doing my anesthesiology. I wasn’t really sure why it took 5 doctors to numb me and watch my levels, but I soon learned. Only one of them truly had mu...

Easter is coming up soon and I’m excited to see what this reminder of Christ’s resurrection will bring. I know that Christ lives within me the entire year through, but I feel this time of year is an amazing time of both reflection and renewal of my faith. Perhaps it’s because I was baptized on Maundy Thursday fifteen years ago, but I think it’s more than that. We are reminded during this time that death has no grip on us- that Christ has overcome the grave- and Satan has been defeated. I don’t think this is lost on Satan either, so it’s a time we must be prepared to fight the spiritual battles of this world. I gained a different perspective on Easter eight years ago. I’ve always tried to picture it through Jesus’ vantage point but came to realize how it must have pained God to give up his firstborn son as well. He knew it was coming and he knew the grave could not hold him, and yet death would not Passover His begotten Son as it had the Israelites so many years before. I pos...

I’ve seen the resiliency in so many of the refugees coming into Clarkston. The pictures and stories of the things they’ve endured don’t always seem to line up with the outer strength they show. How many of us would crumble if our families and towns were completely wiped out? Yet, they find strength in each other. Hospitality is huge in Middle Eastern cultures, and I’m finding I have a lot to learn- both about giving and receiving. I found out last week that I’d (unknowingly) offended someone. My friend, A, had asked last Monday if I’d accompany her and some of her friends to the optometrist in order to help fill out the forms. Besides school work, I’d had no other commitments, so we packed up M’s work and headed out to help. Afterwards we were invited back to their apartment for coffee and tea, but I politely declined. We still had school work that hadn’t gotten finished in the waiting room, dinner to fix, and I was worried that whatever was served might throw off my blood s...

I shared recently that my blood work showed that I’ve been anemic during this pregnancy. I’m thankful for a few things. My numbers were lower than recommended, but not at a dangerous level so I’m praying there will be no effect on the baby. I’m also thankful that I now know why I’ve been so tired lately. I felt bad that Tommy was having to help out with so many things around the house that I thought I should have the energy to do. At least now I know it wasn’t completely in my head. I’ve seen a significant difference in my energy level since starting an iron supplement. I haven’t had to drag myself out of bed each morning and while naps are still welcome, I haven’t felt like I need one at 10 a.m. Just as we can be missing nutrients physically, are we missing necessary nutrients in our spiritual lives? I’ve been thinking about the difference one mineral can make and then last week the pastor preached on almost the same thing. Do we drag through life not even aware that we...

I loved our time back home this Christmas. Most of it was spent with family but we were able to see a few friends too. It was refreshing and relaxing to be surrounded by friends and family who know us so well (and love us anyway). We knew we’d be hitting the ground running once we got back so we found joy in just going with the flow while we had the chance. At least we thought we’d be hitting the ground running. Instead Tommy ended up with strep shortly after we got back, so we quarantined him to the couch and steered clear of people in case the girls and I were contagious and our symptoms just hadn’t shown up yet. (Thankfully we escaped it!!!) I did find out I’m anemic though (which explains why my energy level never bounced back at all second trimester). Hopefully the extra iron will kick in soon and my biggest craving (naps) will disappear. The illness and exhaustion has left us going from a state of being surrounded by love to a relative place of isolation. Coupled w...

How often do we allow ourselves to be vulnerable? To bear our souls and admit when we don’t have it all together or all the answers? Our society doesn’t encourage it, instead we arm ourselves and put up fronts both individually and as a country. There are times I understand it. What is the purpose of showing your weaknesses to someone who may turn and use it against you? 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 9 And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast [a]about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 10 Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with [b]insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. Last night I had the privilege of talking to someone who allowed himself to open up and be vulnerable at the risk of disappointing others. He didn’t grow up in a Christian home, but got to know Christians and ...

So I’m pretty much over the nausea, gagging and vomiting. Most people would be thrilled. But oddly enough, I miss it. This is my least favorite time of pregnancy. I’m always ready for the morning sickness to go away, but then when it does, I long for it. You see, it’s too early to feel consistent movement. Every now and then, if I’m super still I may feel a flutter… but not always. So I’m stuck in this land of limbo where there isn’t much sign at all that I’m pregnant (besides what my scale and clothes tell me). I can’t wait for the day that the kicks are so strong that even the girls will be able to feel them. I know that will be weeks from now though. Sometimes we get discouraged when our faith is like that. When times are tough, it brings us to our knees. Often when times are hardest it is when we feel closest to God. We can feel God’s comfort when we’re in the midst of suffering and see His love shown through the body of believers reaching out and lifting us up. Wh...