Weary

 

If you're feeling weary right now, let me know.  I may not be able to ease your burden as God can, but I'm happy to listen.
I hesitate sharing this because it feels so small in light of the struggles so many others are going through, and yet, it’s where we are right now and I wanted to share and ask for prayers.  
 
I’m weary.  

This transition has been much harder than I thought it would be for one of the girls.  School has never been her favorite and it’s been a weekly battle.  But I think the underlying issue has more to do with the move.  

One day after having to unpack some boxes she cried in my arms sobbing that she’d lost count on what move this even is… and it depends on how you count them.  But the lowest I’d say is 7 in her life- twice for Bainbridge, twice for Lebanon and three times for Clarkston.  I thought we’d done well since there were only 4 basic areas, but apparently the moving and instability has taken a toll.  The moves this year weren’t in our plans at all, but I definitely feel like we’re where we need to be in this moment. 
 
At the end of the day, I’m feeling weary because as her mom, I don’t want to see her hurting, especially as a result of choices Tommy and I have made.  I want to make sure that our obedience is not hindering our girls’ faith.  I question so many decisions as a mom and I feel this year I’ve examined more than most under a microscope.   
Isaiah 40:27-31

Why do you complain, Jacob?
    Why do you say, Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord;
    my cause is disregarded by my God”?

28 Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.
 

I’m weary right now.  

Maybe you are too.  

It’s understandable.  This year has not been the easiest for anyone.  God sees all that we’re going through right now, it is not hidden from him.  But I love that I serve a God who never grows weary but doesn’t expect superhuman strength from me.  His word does not condemn us for growing weary as we go through difficulties in life, rather he gently reminds us what to do when it happens.  

When we grow weary, we put our hope in the Lord and Jesus tells us to come to him.  We are to bring our burdens and lay them at his feet.  He will renew our strength, He will give us rest.  It's a renewal of strength after being honest that we can't do it on our own.  

I’m weary, but I know that God has carried me through much more difficult times than this and in Him I will find rest.  I have no doubt that just as he will do this for me, He’ll do it for our girls as well.  Pray that they will seek rest in Him.  
 

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