My Hope

  Yesterday when I was praying with a friend, we were approached and asked to pray for another friend’s daughter who apparently is strong willed in nature.     Having two rather strong-willed daughters myself (who come by this trait quite naturally), I laughed.     I immediately felt bad about my reaction because I want to be able to help and guide other parents but really and truly, I don’t always know what I’m doing and looking back I generally find ways I should have approached things differently.     So, this morning I spent some time praying for wisdom both for myself and to pass along.     It was amazing because as I prayed, I felt like God gave me such a clear picture.       The Bible tells us that God is the potter and we are the clay.  I took a pottery class in college and it’s not as easy as it looks to do it well.  In order for our pieces to be graded the professor cut into each of them to confirm...

Sorry I haven’t written regularly in a while.  I’ve truly been at a loss for words.  I keep trying to make sense of the world around me and fail.  I keep trying to make sense of all the things going on in my own little world and fail.  It does feel sometimes that everything is chasing after the wind.  We just finished an overview study of Ecclesiastes with the girls and one of the things that I hadn’t realized is the wrong way I’d been looking at many of the verses contained inside.  I’ve always heard the verses ‘Everything is meaningless’ and struggled to make sense of it next to having a ‘Purpose driven life’.     Apparently though, the original Hebrew doesn’t use a word that implies meaningless in the way we often see it.  We just don’t have words for it in English.  It is a grasping of the wind, or smoke.  It is here one minute and gone the next; it is felt but cannot be held....

  Every Easter the story is the same, and yet it’s new again.  It never ceases to amaze me how God can open our eyes and draw us in deeper and deeper to a story we thought we already knew by heart.     This year is no exception.  I’ve been reading a book published in 2020 by Dr. Drew Hart called  Who Will be a Witness?  and he highlighted Barabbas, the criminal that the Jews demanded be set free.     Matthew describes him as a notorious prisoner and both Mark and Luke point out that he was a murderer. These were not new to me.  This has shaped the picture I’ve always had of Barabbas.  But when I’ve pictured notorious murders the ones that come to mind are Ted Bundy, Jeffery Dahmer, John Wilkes Booth… I can go on, but you get the picture.  Why would anyone cry for them to be re-released into society?  How could the priests get the crowds so riled up that they would choose someone...

  If you're feeling weary right now, let me know.  I may not be able to ease your burden as God can, but I'm happy to listen. I hesitate sharing this because it feels so small in light of the struggles so many others are going through, and yet, it’s where we are right now and I wanted to share and ask for prayers.     I’m weary.   This transition has been much harder than I thought it would be for one of the girls.  School has never been her favorite and it’s been a weekly battle.  But I think the underlying issue has more to do with the move.   One day after having to unpack some boxes she cried in my arms sobbing that she’d lost count on what move this even is… and it depends on how you count them.  But the lowest I’d say is 7 in her life- twice for Bainbridge, twice for Lebanon and three times for Clarkston.  I thought we’d done well since there were only 4 basic areas, but apparently the moving and ...

It was surreal watching protests in America unfold while we were in Lebanon and it left me feeling as though I didn’t know how to speak into the situation while I wasn’t here.  This week, despite being here, has just left me speechless though.  In my last post I mentioned that I’ve been trying to hold my tongue and not say things that will cause further division and I believe that’s still true.  But I also believe we are called to cry out, particularly for justice.   I’ve been praying throughout the week and trying to listen.  I’ve been trying to seek wisdom from the Father and align my will with His.  As I prayed, I just felt a heavy sense of grief.  It’s an emotion I typically feel throughout January though each year the weight of grief varies.  But this year as I watched the insurrection live on the news, it was not my son that I grieved… it was not even my nation I grieved…    I grieved the souls of...

  2020 has not been the worst year ever- for me.  That’s not to say that this has been my favorite year because it's certainly had it's share of struggles, but 2008 beats it hands down- no question.     But for some of my friends, and understandably so, they just want this year to end and pray that along with it the sorrows and struggles that it’s brought.   I know someone who lost her daughter just before Christmas, someone who has lost 9 family members due to Covid, countless people in Lebanon who have really been struggling with the financial crisis there, the list goes on.  It’s been a rough year and I feel like my struggles have paled in comparison.     I’ve been reading Job searching for wisdom in knowing what to say as one calamity after another befalls them.  But really and truly, it gives more guidance on what not to say.  His friends all said the wrong thing.  Elihu wasn’t repri...

  This year doesn’t feel so Christmassy.  Parties are out.  Large Christmas plays or pageants may be super spreaders and grandparents may not be able to attend.  It’s hard readjusting our expectations with traditions that mean so much to us.  I get it.  The last two Christmases our family had to redefine what Christmas looked like to us.     In 2018 we had recently arrived in Lebanon and we were adjusting to life in a new country away from friends and family.  We had been surprised that while Thanksgiving is obviously and American holiday, Black Friday sales are worldwide.  This was definitely to our advantage as we were appreciative for the deep discounts on appliances we needed to purchase for our apartment.   Our neighborhood in Beirut was primarily Muslim sandwiched between two Christian neighborhoods.  We were walking distance from lights and enormous trees, so some scenes ...